


moments may pass, but memories won't fade away

by ilikesmellofcoffee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Fred Weasley Lives, Hermione Granger Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-10-27 11:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17765876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikesmellofcoffee/pseuds/ilikesmellofcoffee
Summary: After the battle for Hogwarts, Hermione thinks that there is no more hope. They won the battle, but it demanded so many sacrifices. Just as she realised who her heart belongs to that person and a lot of other people died. Until something happens and makes her believe in life again.





	1. Chapter 1

Everything seemed calm for a brief second.

She was standing between two redhead guys, that were way too often messing her head. Ron is on her right, the right choice, the one everyone expects her to be, rational decision. Fred is on her left which doesn't look significant until she realizes that the heart is on the left. Hermione turned to him and he said ''I love you, Mia, I always will'', they started walking to each other and just as she started to respond explosion roared.

The next thing she knew she was crying on the dead body of Fred Weasley. ''I love you too'' she cried.

Suddenly she was pulled into a hug. She hugged almost identical copy of Fred Weasley.

''I never got to say it back to him,'' she whispered in Georges healthy ear.

''He knew it, believe me'' he told her ''You two were meant to be, I am not sure I can handle my life without him, he was always there. I can count on my five fingers memories without Fred being there, and they always turned out bad. ''

''He'd want us to keep on hitting. Something like keep on fighting Voldys ass. Or throw few more snowballs at noseless's face for me George.'' '

'You too Granger'' George added

For the rest of the night, she fought like crazy. She had murdered way too many dementors that she lost count. She had to revenge Fred, Tonks, Moony, Dobby, Sirius, Lavender and all those who died or lost someone because of this foolish war. She knew that was the stupidest, most meaningless thing that the human race does. She also had to fight to prevent his from happening to the next generation. Hermione didn't want any children having to fight for freedom or anyone dying because of that. She did have hope that they will win this war, but she started to lose it. But even if they did, she or anyone else wouldn't be the same as before. Before she little knew it all, who would spend her time at the library, rereading Hogwarts: a history over and over again. She fought with Harry, but nothing in her life was this dark. As she saw the pain in Harry 's eyes while Sirius was getting killed, getting tortured by Bellatrix, Dobby died to save them, holding her dead soulmate and seeing her best friend dead. She only got some hope, that saved her from giving up was Neville killing Nagini and Harry revealing he is actually alive So they won the war. Here they are in the hallway. Few of them who survived this horror. Hermione is attempting to smile as Harry, Ron and she walks through the school. Harry sees Ginny and they run into each other's arms which leaves her and Ron alone. Her mind is already far away thinking about loss when Ron leans in. She moves away and he looks at her obviously confused. 'What are you doing Ronald? Your brother just died and so many other people did. And you expect me to kiss you or anyone on a freaking day my soulmate died? Guy, I liked for so long. I even loved him ' ''And since when was there anything between you and Fred? He just fooled around with you. Whenever he was bored in Burrow or here he would have quick fun with you and being proud that he even made you fall for him and got in her panties, How didn't you realize that he had at least ten of you '' ''How do you dare to say that you, asshole? You never loved anyone expect yourself and eventually your chicken. He lived, loved. He was here. And people will remember him. He was loved. But Fred wasn't as selfish as you and he loved others too'' she said slapping him across his face She went to the Room of requirement where was Fred' body. She and Fred would often meet up here and talk for hours. Just talk and enjoyed that they were young fools in love.

' _Fred, why are you dragging me in the room of requirement. As I am sure that the Army meeting is tomorrow'_

_'Can you trust me just for a second, Mia?' he turned and smirked at her. That smirk. Hermione didn't have any other choice than to trust him when he showed her that smile. It wasn't that prankster smirk. It was Hermione smirk. He only showed her to her. And the tone he used to say Mia sent shivers down Hermione's spine._

_'Alright Weasley' she sighed, but the edge of her mouth formed in a small smile. As he closed the door behind her he kissed her. And witches knees became weak and her heart melted. Her fingers were playing with his hair._

And Hermione sobbed and she took the edge of her shirt in her fist. And then she realised it was his shirt. And she cried even more.


	2. chapter 2

Hermione walked slowly to St. Mungos. It was the day after they won the war. May third. She was going to visit Fred for the first time since they found out that he is still alive. Yes, he was in a coma, but there were still chances that he'd live. Of course, she could apparate there, but she wanted to walk and get some air and time to clear her mouth out and think about everything. Few things happened last night.

While they were still in the castle, before they found out news, she and George sat head on his shoulder, as they mourned the loss of every single loss this war made. Mostly death of tall, redhead boy that looked quite similar to George.  
-Hermione? he started  
-Yes, George? , she asked turning to look at him  
-I have this idea. Since I heard your argument with Ronald and I guess you wouldn't really like going to Burrow. And we- um I have an empty room in my apartment. You've been there already. I just think it'd be easier for both of us if you would move in. So, are you up for that?  
She observed his eyes carefully to make sure that he really wanted that.  
-Um, are you sure that you want me to move to Fr- fre his room, she just couldn't roll his name off her tongue.

He just nodded to her.

It was a rough night. When she came to Fred' s room it all seemed new to her, even if she was there a lot of times. Hermione was never there without him. There were a lot of pictures in Fred's room. Mostly him and his friends and family. Also, there were a lot of quidditch related photographs and posters. But there were some Hermione didn't remember seeing on his walls before. She took one photo and looked at it. There was one girl that seemed like she knew her from somewhere. She had long brown hair with silky curls, hazel eyes and was pale, but blush crept on her face. She only wore a huge smile on her face and green knitted sweater with letter F on front. The sweater was really big on her and came all the way down a little bit above her knees. There were some photos with that girl and Fred. Where did Hermione know her from?. And as she glanced around the room and her eyes landed on the mirror she realized it was actually her. Old her. Just before this whole war happened. These two Hermione Grangers weren't that much alike. One with a smile, nice hair, and flicker in her eye and other with quite messy hair, scar on her chick with tears running down from her face her face as white as snow. 

 

Hermione couldn't sleep that night so many thoughts were in her head. She walked to the living room around 3 am seeing George sitting on a sofa with a glass of dark substance in his hand. She recognized that it was fire whiskey. As she sat on a sofa next to him he glanced at her as she gestured to the bottle of alcohol. He fulled her glass and she started to sip as drink burned her throat. Fred and she tried it once before and she didn't like it at all, but now as her head was full with thoughts of him.

As morning came by and visiting hours in the hospital started she grabbed one leather bounded notebook from night table in her room. She flipped through it and realized it was Fred's diary.

She wasn't sure what was written in it. With that thought, she walked in hospital.

Hermione was sitting in the hospital on the chair next to the bed where Fred Weasley lied. Redhead boy that at first for most people seemed like her polar opposite. He was the prankster, broke rules for fun. She was a bookworm, know it all and prefect, for god's sake. But they were not really different. Both of them were loyal and would do anything for friends and family, were really ambitious and above-average intelligent. Fred was even a bookworm, even though only selected few knew for that. She remembered that he would quite often snog her between shelves that were full of old books. As she stroked his hair and took his arm she started retelling him story

-There were we in the library that one Sunday. You remember that we would go there and have study sessions and read for hours. You said something you wanted to show me something. So you took my hand and led me to this empty compartment.

Before she could withdraw her mind from its far places, his arms were around her. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, giving her time if she wanted to pull away and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back. 

As she told him last part she gazed away for a second as her fingertips went to her lips remembering the kiss. And a tear rolled down her check.

-Or when we sat on the floor and read Bridge to Terabithia and listened to this playlist I recorded at home. I would always ask my parents to send me Muggle books so we could read them or that I would make tapes with songs. I remember we shared earphones while Hallelujah was playing and his tragic scene happened and I started properly sobbing and you were on edge of tears. You turned to me and pulled me into an embrace.I squeezed you back and let myself breath you. You smelled like wood and grass. I would usually smell it only we played cards in your room with Ginny. But then I wanted to feel it every day. I even smell that way right now -she whispered last part glancing at his hoodie she wore and even more, tears left her checks

Time went by for Hermione, and she didn't realize that a week had already passed since the battle. She sort of got into the routine hospital, spending all the time there while visiting hours lasted. When other people came by, she'd just wait in the hall. She was so close to losing him having the chance to tell him those three words back. When she had to leave hospital she'd go to flat and ''watch'' tv with George. They just sat on the sofa, looking at the screen, not paying attention to TV sipping some fire whiskey hoping it would help her forget about everything just for a minute. Her parents, Fred, watching Lavender and Collin die, Malfoy Manor, Tonks and Lupin, Teddy and how many others became orphans due to this stupid war, an entire year of hiding and looking for Horcruxes. It all boiled up in her.

It suddenly became hard for her to breath and her mouth was dry, even though she just downed a glass of water with sleep medicine. She felt like she was going to throw up but she didn't eat anything that day. Everything became blurry and pictures from war surrounded her. Shivers went down her spine and she shook like insane. She fell on the floor, feeling like she was getting choked and she was sweating and cried like a maniac. It was n everything fell down and she didn't even have a safe place to land. Of course, her parents wouldn't remember her. Why would they? It's probably better for them this way. And what if he would wake not remembering her? And if he would move on other girls. That was taller, thinner and curvier than her. That was femme. That weren't little annoying know-it-all. That had silky blonde hair.

-I know it's hard, but he wouldn't like you to be like this. It's all going to be better believe me.

Next thing she knew she woke up in this room she woke up thousand times, with this hand that had a million freckles over it. Maybe this was all just a big bad dream, maybe she'd turn around to his smirking face. As she turned she saw that red hair, but it was only George Weasley


End file.
